You’ve got to be kidding me!
I sat in front of my computer today and bam, there’s this blank white page staring right into my face and I have no words. My mind went completely blank.
The most annoying fear for a writer is to face a blank page for hours and end up writing nothing. And I’m dealing with it right now. Literally. Before I wrote the first sentence of this post, I spent an hour looking at an empty document on my screen. The blank page fear.
For a fact, I don’t remember facing this ever before. This is how it feels: My mind seems completely empty, I can’t seem to find the words, even if I find some I feel they’re not the right ones. It’s the worst feeling.
But now that I do anyway, I am gathering all the courage I have to write. Something. Anything!
Yes, I’ve been writing for years now but it happens. No matter how much experience a writer has, this blank page fear strikes once in a while. I guess it’s just with the experience we will know how to handle it. I’ve heard many writers talk about it but experiencing it myself is altogether different. It’s intense.
If you are a non-writer, you must be wondering what’s so terrifying about it. But trust me, it is. It is not simply about what to write but at the back of the mind, there’s also a fear of judgement.
What will the reader think?
Is it good enough?
Am I a good enough writer?
What if someone hates it?
What if I make a mistake?
So much second-guessing.
Guess what? Today I happen to be in a time crunch. I have two articles to finish writing. One of which must be submitted tomorrow. I freaked out for a while and then you know what I told myself?
That I’m just going to fill this document with words. Whatever I think about. I also told myself, “It’s ok if it’s not perfect. Maybe even worse.“
So here I am, filling this page with words. My thoughts. My irrational fears. And it helps. Also, as I allowed myself to write bad, I feel I wrote better than I expected. The pros.
Okay, now that I have spilt my thoughts and my fears onto this page, I feel lighter and freer. I just have to clear that block and as I rambled on here it seems to be going away. My heart still feels the discomfort, like I’m doing something out of the box. I guess I should continue writing whatever until I feel like myself again. Until I’m back in my element.
But you know what I believe firmly? That I should do everything in my power to unblock my mind, instead of just waiting for it to happen by itself. Maybe taking a break also works, but I should see where my mind will take me.
So, my dear friends, I ask you to take one step ahead when you face your fears. That one step is progress and an achievement in itself. Do not sit back just cause something terrifies you. Take action. Life is all about facing our fears.
That’s all about my saga of the blank page fear. And I have another article to finish, so I’m hoping to have cleared this little hindrance. Leave a comment about your thoughts on this and I’ll see you soon again.
Much love,
Nikki.
(Penname – Sarvani)
Thanks for reading