You might know someone who everybody loves to hang out with including yourself, and you always wondered how do they do it, didn’t you? It’s not a rocket science. You can be that person. If you are an anti-social, deliberately avoiding human contact, then this isn’t the post for you but if you are someone who would want be social but couldn’t, then you are in the right place at the right time. You needn’t be a party animal but everybody so needs some basic social skills. So, this brings me to the question, ‘how to make people love you?’
It will be a piece of cake if you know the right tricks. Being social is nothing less than an art. What you talk, how you talk and how you present yourself, everything matters when you are in a crowd. If you do it the right way, you don’t have to dread every time when you have a party to attend or even worse, host a party yourself. And you would see people loving to be around you with these basic social skills.
Let’s not waste another minute and dive into it!!
Social Skills to Make People Love You
First thing, SMILE.
A smile is a very powerful tool here. When you are in a crowd and you accidentally met a stranger’s eyes, what would you do?? Look away or smile?? If you would look away, then that is an unwelcoming signal to the stranger that you don’t want to mingle. And that’s it, they will never approach you to talk or introduce themselves. But if you smile, they immediately understand that you are interested to socialize with them. When I say smile, it has to be a genuine smile, not a tight-lipped or fake smile. One may not be an expert in reading someone’s every facial expression but everybody will connect to a genuine, heartful smile. A smile as such is enchanting and will never fail to make people love you instantly. So, next time when you are in a gathering, try to wear THAT ENCHANTING SMILE of yours.
Secondly, Don’t be a Phubber.
Being on your phone constantly is another signal that tells you are not interested to talk to anyone and you prefer your mobile phone. That will just snub people away. People often avoid or feel uncomfortable to approach someone that constantly stares at his phone. So, never do that when you are at a party. But what to do when there is no one you know at the party and you can’t just sit idle; very uncomfortable, I know. But you can always grab a drink and just observe the people around (but not in a creepy way). That will kill some time until someone approaches you to interact. This shows you are open to interact and make a conversation.
Thirdly, Prepare yourself beforehand.
Before you attend a party, make your preparations like a few conversations starters if you happen to meet an unknown person, what to wear, and all that jazz. Specifically, what you are wearing is very important. Put on something that you are comfortable to carry all the party. If you are not comfortable, you can’t be confident and hence making it all the more difficult for you to socialize. People may say looks don’t matter but when you meet someone, you obviously make an impression based on the way they look and dress. So, investing a good amount of time in dressing up isn’t so bad.
And coming to the convo starters, keep a few in mind so that you won’t have to go through those awkward pauses while you are conversing. We all know how uncomfortable they are. Hi, how are ya? what do you do? what’s new? etc. But the trick here is to ask more questions about the other person rather than just rambling on about yourself. When you ask a person about themselves, it shows you are interested in knowing them and obviously, everybody loves to talk about themselves.
Next one in the basic social skills, be a good listener.
As we talked in the above point to ask more questions about the other person, you must remember to be a good listener when they are talking. Looking at your phone, looking down, slouching or looking in random directions will be bad signals which may hinder making a friendship bond with them. Nodding while they are talking, asking questions, smiling, will convey that you are enjoying the other person’s company and would love to know more about him/her. Being a good listener doesn’t mean you just nod along to everything they say though you don’t agree, you can express opinions, you can put your idea out there. In fact, that’s what makes a great real conversation. So, try to open up and share your real opinions, you don’t have to bother veiling your opinions and emotions.
Then, The Presentation of Yourself.
I’m not talking about just the physical appearance but also the abstract mental appearance. When we meet somebody for the first time, we create an impression of them in our mind, like, he’s an introvert or diffident or comfortable to be around, fun to hang out with, etc, etc, etc. So, you must present yourself in a way you want others to perceive you. You must create a comfortable environment around you, so people would feel the comfort.
One ultimate way to make people love you is self-love. When you love yourself first, you will be confident and when people see that, they will definitely fall in love with you. Being confident in oneself is something everybody admires. So, believe in yourself and love yourself.
And when I say to present yourself in a confident way, I didn’t mean to show only the positives of yourself. You may also share some of your flaws, some of your setbacks with them. Then they will connect and relate to the ‘REAL YOU.’ People always appreciate a real person rather than an imaginary perfect personification.
Next, Be a sport and laugh at yourself.
Be fun, make jokes on others as well as on yourself, not derogatorily in both the cases. When you also laugh at yourself people will know how much of a happy-go-lucky person you are and come back to you bouncing every time. When you make a joke on someone but you are unable to digest a joke on yourself, makes the whole situation uncomfortable. No one wants to be around someone who gets offended easily. Learn to be a sport. This will create a comfortable atmosphere to make people love you. But draw the line where you should stop making fun of yourself. Too much of that may make people take you for granted.
Lastly, the Conversation ending.
This is one of the important social skills people should learn because many beautiful convos are ruined because of bad wrap-ups. A clumsy convo end is like a great movie with an utterly unsatisfying climax. Therefore, how you end a conversation is just as important as starting a conversation. While you are leaving, you have to make sure you make one last positive impression on the other person. Don’t just say ‘I gotta go now, bye,’ while they are still talking or any other abrupt replies. The way you end the convo should leave an everlasting image of you in their minds. Perhaps you can say, ‘While I’d love to chat more with you, I have something really important to catch up on. I’ll be looking forward to meeting you again.’ This is something everybody loves to hear and will remember for a long time.
That’s all folks!! I hope these social skills help you in improving social skills and make people love you.
See ya next time. Peace out!