People. A very significant part of our lives. They can heal you and they can scar you for life. There’s a saying, “Tell me your friend, I will tell who you are.” Heard of it? Of course, yes. But ever followed it? Nope? I did and it changed the way things are around me and the way I deal with the situations. You ask me if it’s really that important?? Yes, yes, yes. The kind of people you hang out with defines your vibe and mindset. I remember another saying in my native tongue that says if you spend the most time with someone, you would acquire a few of the traits of the other. And it can’t be any truer. So… why and how I choose people in my life with utmost care??
First, let’s see why I choose people.
Because, when we are sad we expect someone to console us and what if we seek that from a person who is negative. They will just worsen our mood adding more negative thoughts to your mind. And likewise, when you had a failure you need more people who can say ‘Try again, you can do it this time for sure,’ rather than people who say, ‘why waste time? Try something else,’ or worse, ‘I told you-you can’t.’ See why it’s so essential to choose people??
You know, we can choose our thoughts and hence our attitude. But most of us can’t. Why? Because of the people that we are surrounded by and their adverse comments. That’s when you CHOOSE. Right? It’s a need to stay in such environment that can foster your progress. You have the right to choose the things that are good for you. If something/someone hinders your progress and mental health in any way, you should unchoose them.
You can only have power over your actions, you cannot choose how the other person behaves/talks. So, before the opposite person makes his move and threatens your mental peace, choose to unchoose such people.
Now, how I choose people.
- Choose someone who brings out the best in you. If not the best, at least they shouldn’t bring out the madness in you.
- We all want to be appreciated. Either for our work or attitude or a deed, we all expect appreciation. In case we don’t get that, we eventually lose the zeal to learn/work.
- Avoid those who criticize you all the time. Constructive criticism is fine but being criticized until we lose our confidence is never acceptable. Confidence is the key to a jolly attitude and a great work life. We should not sacrifice that for anybody
- Choose someone who points out a good thing happened to you on your worst day. It’s very rare to find such people but when you did, you should hold on to them.
- Never let go of the people who stick to you in your bad times – This is an old saying. I say, never let go of the ones who are genuinely happy when you succeed. They are quite special too.
- If you can’t completely cut all the connections with someone, at least limit the interaction. I totally avoided such interactions, even if I bumped into them once in a while, I only kept the conversation general, without touching any personal matters.
Basically, who you think has a negative impact on you should be avoided.
We all have an idea as to who we like and who we not, who help us and who don’t, but still, most of us stay in adverse environments. It won’t be any different until you make a strong will to take a step. Right choice at the right time can set you on the right path for the rest of your life.
Recommendation: What’s your priority now?
- After I escaped from all such negative interactions, I found myself a little more relaxed. Until then I was more stressed, overthinking everything, depressed, self-doubting, second-guessing myself. But once I took that step, the picture was clearer.
- I had a lot of time to concentrate on building myself for my goals and ambitions. I had less to worry about, hence I had more time for myself. Frankly, it surprised me how much we can do if we could just shift our focus off of unwanted negative issues.
- All the things that used to stress me a lot seemed so small like they never mattered at all. When I deleted questions like ‘what will people think?’ ‘What will people say if I did this?’ I could do everything I loved. I felt I’m the only one that’s important, again.
- When I could get rid of all the demotivating noise around me I could listen to my mind voice loud and clear. I discovered new energy inside of me to work harder and succeed.
*Choose that’s good for you, ignore that’s bad – Simple as that*
Catch you later,
Lots of love,