Every now and then I feel I’m not good enough. Something strikes me, a thought or an incident, and I start feeling I’m not giving it my best. Like I’m doing it all wrong. Like I’m disappointed with myself. Can you relate to that? Of course, you do. We all go through that often than we admit. We are all humans and we tend to feel all kinds of emotions. But if we feel that disappointment too often it will hinder our self-esteem, which is obviously not an optimum result.
Over the years, I’ve mastered the art of overcoming that phase with less emotional struggle. Of course, this is my way of doing things, and it differs from person to person. I’m only trying to throw an idea out there in hope of you finding it helpful. So, I want you to consider my experience and make it your own way.
I go through 3 steps to overcome this “not good enough” feeling.
Step One:
This is a super important thing I’ve learned. During this phase, don’t say mean and harsh things to yourself. When we are upset, we become critical of ourselves and say all kinds of harsh things to ourselves, which we don’t mean in any way. Like, I’m not good enough, I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not successful enough, I’m not smart enough, and whatnot.
It is hard as it is already, why make it worse. You can just talk something nonsensical just to vent your frustration, but you should know when to stop. It is certainly not good for your mental health.
Why do we do that? Only to let out all the pent up frustration. Remember, this is transitory but when you criticize yourself the self-esteem damage will be for a long, long time. If we say all those things to another person, like a friend or spouse or kids, don’t you think they will be hurt? Just the same way, if we say it to ourselves, we will be hurt as well. Simple as that.
So importantly, don’t trash talk yourself.
Step Two:
I take a break and do whatever I want to do. I will be spontaneous and do things that don’t relate to my work. If I want to sing I’ll sing, if I want to paint I’ll do that, if I want to binge-watch something I’ll do that, and if I want to sleep like a log all day I’ll do that. Basically, I’ll try to divert myself from the thoughts that upset me.
And this goes on for a day or two (sometimes longer) and at the end of the second day, I will get sick of this lazy routine and can’t wait to get back to my usual routine and work.
Step Three:
When I talked about steps one and two I did not mean escaping from your emotional issues. I just meant don’t react immediately because when we feel any kind of emotional threat we impulsively react and most of the times we come to wrong conclusions. What I want you to do is take your time and then think with a calm mind.
So now as some time has elapsed, I get back to my routine. And the first thing I do is ask myself a few questions. Like…
- What made you upset?
- Is it really important enough to make you upset?
- If so, how can you improve the situation?
- What do you think you are lacking?
- And how can you change that?
And after such introspection, I try to organize my thoughts and come up with a solution for the matter at hand. Instead of focusing on the problem, try to focus on the solution. That way things will be easier. Slowly, I go back to being a happy girl I was before all this mess.
So, this is my way of dealing with the situation. I hope this is helpful for you and I will see you soon again. Comment down below how effective do you think my way is on a scale of 1 to 10.
Until we meet again,
Lots of LOVE,
Nikki.
*Let’s meet on Instagram*