Grandma,

As I write this letter to you in tears, I hope you would listen to me from wherever you are. The past few days have been so hard on us looking at you in so much pain. And after so much fight, now you left us, which is devastating for me. It’s like you have just disappeared. I still wish for waking up to a different reality turning all this into a dream, a nightmare.

We all love you dearly. I love you very much. No matter what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, the thought of YOU always crosses my mind. I’m going to miss your cooking, the way you fed me, the way you gently hugged me, the way you pulled me closer while sleeping, your smile, touch, and laugh. You taught me so many things about life. You always had a simple version for everything complicated. I learned how patient one should be, especially when you are a mother leading a family. You were a fantastic mother, a wonderful grandmother, a devoted wife, and overall, a great woman. The list is quite long but I’m very grateful for all those things.

You are one of the reasons I grew up so pampered and loved. The ten years I spent with you is the most memorable time of my life. Thank you for that. Along with you, there goes a beautiful part of my childhood. I would always remember what a terrific mother you are to all of us. Though you are my grandmother, I call you Amma (mom). It’s not just a mere call, I believed it with my whole heart.

It aches to think that grandma’s place won’t be the same ever again. Every inch of the house brings back your memories, how you moved from room to room, how you cooked in the kitchen, how you took care of the plants… and everything. It’s very difficult to even move a muscle in the house without you here.

It crumples my heart to imagine life without you, to imagine you won’t be here to welcome with a smile when I come here. It pains to talk about you in the past tense.

You were a wonderful grandmother to me. I might have shied away to say that I love you so much, which I regret now, but as you know “I love you” … Very much. So much that it’s indescribable in words.

Any life, I always choose you as my grandmother. I strongly believe that our connection isn’t limited to this life. I hope you and I will always find a way to find each other in every life.

I wanted to do so many things for you but now, I promise you to live my life the way that would make you proud. Always. I will carry your name and love with me every day. I hope you will watch over me.

I’m certain you are in a good place now, and I also know you will make that good place better with your love, laughter, and affection.

We will take care of grandpa, you can rest assured. You will always be in our thoughts, grandma. You are my HERO. ❤️

Yours,

Dearest granddaughter,

Nikki.